{"id":5813,"date":"2013-09-11T10:53:29","date_gmt":"2013-09-11T10:53:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/test.transversalmedia.eu\/what-do-i-want\/"},"modified":"2013-09-11T10:53:29","modified_gmt":"2013-09-11T10:53:29","slug":"what-do-i-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theresearchpapers.org\/archive\/what-do-i-want\/","title":{"rendered":"what do i want?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/brownfemipower.tumblr.com\/post\/60899739204\/what-do-i-want\">brownfemipower<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>black amazon wrote a post saying what she wanted in light of the Hugo situation (and believe me, BOY did I feel it when she said that the \u201cwhat do you want\u201d question is often used as a weapon\u2014how many times have i gotten some impatient \u201cwell, why don\u2019t you stop complaining and tell me what you want????\u201d followed up with a \u201cwell, if you want it, start WORKING FOR IT (do it yourself) along with tons and tons of links giving me \u201cadvice\u201d on how to do it myself, cuz all it really takes is to google links and structural injustice no longer exists, didn\u2019t you know???) and it got me thinking.<\/p>\n<p>what do i want?<\/p>\n<p>well, first of all, it\u2019s near impossible to answer that question, because what i want\u2014a *movement* (and not the faux bullshit we got people calling in and signing petitions \u201cmovement\u201d but a real transformative resilient justice centered movement\u2014and oops, i shouldn\u2019t say all those words, cuz god knows how they will be taken and used to give the faux US \u201conline feminist movement\u201d credibility) is not going to happen. at least not through *F*eminism. it\u2019s just not. there\u2019s not even the room in *F*eminist space to say\u2014ok, YOU show up on cnn to make work WE\u2019RE doing on the streets visible. because the work going on on the streets DEPENDS on CNN and wouldn\u2019t exist without it (see: nobody is going to show up for \u201cfeminist march\u201d type comments). and more to the point, because liberal reformism doesn\u2019t require a \u201cmovement.\u201d it, in fact, actively needs there NOT to be a movement.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>SO\u2014having said that. what do i want?<\/p>\n<p>* I want a place where I can self-publish without being pretty certain it\u2019s being mined for content.<\/p>\n<p>* i want people to stop acting like it\u2019s way too fucking hard to press a button and write an ask asking for permission to use my words. because what has happened is that instead of asking me for permission, they just go, oh, that\u2019s too hard, i won\u2019t even include her in this discussion! so\u2014everything that happened, happened to \u201cThe WOCs\u201d NOT to brownfemipower and black amazon and flavia and aura bogado.<\/p>\n<p>we all have names. we all have histories. pretending like it\u2019s too hard to ask for permission to use my words and turning us all into a generalized \u201cWOC\u201d makes it seem like the main problem was with hugo and the main problem hugo had was his racism. nope. the main problem was *F*eminism and the main problem with *F*eminism was it\u2019s tacit approval of white solidarity.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>* i want people to recognize what it means to turn yourself into a brand. the main thing i can point to here is this. this tumblr was specifically created to take control of my \u201cbrand\u201d after several situations happened where i felt like others were using my name to ask for things i never would or they were misrepresenting my history. i have stayed \u201con brand\u201d while on this blog, only talking about stuff relating to the \u201cbrand\u201d brownfemipower\u2014which was branded by *F*eminism as a vicious destroyer, a duplicitous monster, a weak lazy freeloader.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>but i\u2019ve struggled very hard\u2014i made the committment to myself that this tumblr would only be used to address \u201cthe brand\u201d\u2014but i\u2019ve found how limiting it is in several areas. first\u2014i, the person behind brownfemipower, am NOT a vicious destroyer of everything that is good, AND i have a strenuous chicana centered critique of \u201clazy freeloader\u201d and \u201cdo it yourself\u201d attitudes being weilded against chicanas specifically.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>SO what do I do with that?<\/p>\n<p>Also\u2014since all this happened, i have learned lessons, dedicated myself in an extremely committed way to practicing buddhism, seen my state and very important cities in my state assaulted through legislature, gotten surgery\u2026become a different person. i look back on some of the decisions i made and the stuff i said in my past blogging life, and I regret them. like\u2014REALLY in the core of my heart, regret them. \u00a0can i admit as a brand how much i deeply regret those decisions? can i admit as a brand that i really REALLY don\u2019t enjoy centering white women, when people come to \u201cbrownfemipower\u201d as a brand to hear about white women? can i admit that i HATE being angry all the time? can i say frankly, that the thing i want most is a place where i can talk about how much i need big fat titties all up in my face, cuz i just had a hard ass fucking day?<\/p>\n<p>in other words\u2014what does it MEAN to have a \u201cbrand\u201d and what does it MEAN that *F*eminism is working to \u201cstay on brand\u201d and what does it MEAN that so many of the \u201cbrands\u201d that are running around are being paid to say how much they hate republicans and get everybody mad and create clicking outrage that results in payment for the brand and lots and lots of money for the website?<\/p>\n<p>what does any of this mean? can \u2018brands\u2019 make movements? can \u201cbrands\u201d sustain movements? if a \u201cbrand\u201d always has to stay on point, can it be anything but a blow horn and a day of marching? can a \u201cbrand\u201d ever admit they\u2019re wrong? can a \u201cbrand\u201d ever express regret?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>it\u2019s not generally a big surprise what a thing is when it\u2019s been screaming at you since 2005 what it is (a brand)\u2014can we have a conversation about what that means? and what it means when a brand applies for foundation money? why is it a surprise that Brand Amanda or Brand Jezebel has not (and will not) EVER apologize, much less change?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>* i want people to recognize and respect the fact that i have a history. that Chicanas have a history. that we have a history online. people who work to shape that history\u2014i want you to engage with us in doing so.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>* i also want so called allies to be aware of needing to ask critical questions before engaging in particular situations. \u00a0if i see one more woman of color ask in confusion \u201ccan somebody point me to the back ground situation around #femfuture???\u201d after they uncritically came out in support of it, it will be one time too many. as black amazon said, THAT is what hurts the most.<\/p>\n<p>* i want the white women like La Lubu, Cara, Jessica Hoffman, Jessica Nathanson, Le Colonel Chabert, Sheezlebub, Kactus, Emily, (and others) who have offered love, community, friendship, and true solidarity to be recognized as the leaders that they are. because they demonstrate that there WAS and IS a different choice.<\/p>\n<p>* i want all violence against all women of color and their communities to end forever.<\/p>\n<p>* i want everything that black amazon said she wanted to be handed to her on the biggest shiniest silver platter.<\/p>\n<p>* i want people to understand that I never named what happened to me as \u2018theft\u2019 or even as \u201cappropriation.\u201d i want people to put actual work into understanding why and where they got the idea that what happened to me was \u201ctheft\u201d or \u201cappropriation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>* maybe someday, i\u2019ll tell you how i define what happened to me.<\/p>\n<p>* or, maybe the brand brownfemipower will just let you go on thinking that you know best.<\/p>\n<p>* i want people to understand the difference between hustling and being an asshole. i want to be paid to write, just like everybody else. i want to be rich, just like everybody else. i want to be JKRowling rich. If i thought i could write a story that would make millions about a white boy wizard named hugo schwyzer who, with his best wizarding friend amanda, took down evil hordes of destroying all that is good WOCs? I would write that bastard in about three minutes. I\u2019ve been poor all my life. I don\u2019t want to be poor anymore. I don\u2019t want to have to beg on the internet for money to feed my kids or pay for gas. I want to be rich. filthy stinking rich. and i\u2019ll sell my skills for that money. that makes me a hustler.<\/p>\n<p>what i wont do is tell everybody that i am writing a book about boy wizard hugo schwyzer so that they will have better lives. i will not say i\u2019m starting a movement to make it so that everybody can write about boy wizards and then stomp everybody\u2019s faces. i will not use watch dogs to make sure that nobody else can get paid to write about boy wizards all while saying i\u2019m a leader in making sure that everybody gets to write about boy wizards. that would make me an asshole.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>when i write my book and become a rich ass bitch? please know that i am doing it to be rich. that i am playing the system. using my \u201cone chance\u201d eminem gave me. i am SO not \u201cinventing online feminism\u201d and i am SO not being a \u201cprofessional feminist\u201d and I am SO only wearing fishnets so that all my boy toy fan club will be happy.<\/p>\n<p>* that is all.<\/p>\n<p>* for now.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>amen.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>BFP&rsquo;s response to the &ldquo;what do you want&rdquo; question.<\/p>\n<p>And, I am taking this opportunity to also mention something that has been systematically left out of the conversations, mostly because the man in question did not mention this woman in his twitter fauxpologies: <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/aurabogado\">Aura Bogado<\/a> was also a victim. When she resisted his ideas and wrote about them in a critical way, he threatened to sue her. He insisted that her criticism was &ldquo;slander&rdquo;. He went out of his way to silence her with threats of costly legal actions. It should also be noted, that Aura is yet, another Woman of Color. And, as BFP says, not &ldquo;the WoC&rdquo; but an individual woman who has done some extremely important work writing about immigration, gender and politics and who was pressured to stop her critique through means that would take an incredible amount of financial, time, etc resources to counteract. Aura was (and still is, thankfully), challenging certain hegemonies. She was attacked for doing so.<\/p>\n<p>As I said before, historical records matter. This is another one of those.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>brownfemipower: black amazon wrote a post saying what she wanted in light of the Hugo situation (and believe me, BOY did I feel it when she said that the \u201cwhat do you want\u201d question is often used as a weapon\u2014how many times have i gotten some impatient \u201cwell, why don\u2019t you stop complaining and tell &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"loftocean_post_format_gallery":"","loftocean_post_format_gallery_ids":"","loftocean_post_format_gallery_urls":"","loftocean_post_format_video_id":0,"loftocean_post_format_video_url":"","loftocean_post_format_video_type":"","loftocean_post_format_video":"","loftocean_post_format_audio_type":"","loftocean_post_format_audio_url":"","loftocean_post_format_audio_id":0,"loftocean_post_format_audio":"","loftocean-featured-post":"","loftocean-like-count":0,"loftocean-view-count":976,"loftocean_coauthors":"","alpaca_post_content_reading_setting":"","alpaca_reading_speed_per_minute":0,"alpaca_reading_speed_unit":"","alpaca_single_post_template_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[26,860,1361],"class_list":["post-5813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-feminism","tag-gender-matters","tag-media"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>what do i want? 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