Because this is also my personal blog (and not exclusively limited to politics or feminism or one unique subject), is that I need to vent.
I am having such a shitty day. My cat who is very sick is getting worse. I just discovered that in the past few hours he seems to have lost some eyesight (not sure of the extent, but it seems pretty obvious he is bumping into things). I cannot accurately describe my love for this animal. I have several other pets (two other cats and a dog) but it was this guy who gave me a sense of home when I first moved here. I associate the idea of having a home with his presence. I am pretty much heartbroken.
And together with the heartbreak, I always fall into this spiral of self doubt and disgust. I do not really feel sorry for myself but I constantly question everything I do. Nothing in my life seems to make a dent in the system I work against. I volunteer, I am involved in local politics, I am a vocal activist and still, not a single thing seems to change throughout time. If anything, it has gotten worse. So, I wonder, why bother? Why even try? I get overwhelmed with this sense of despair that the winter and the proximity of the holiday season only makes worse (a holiday I systematically spend sans family, as they all live a 14 hour flight away).
So yeah, I am not exactly cheerful today. Perhaps I should go and beat someone up at Jezebel or some such forum. It will not make me feel better but I will get to enjoy some righteous indignation. And I live for those moments, after all…
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