how do i explain to my baby that trying to break his stuffed animals’ union is a horrible idea? he’s being so malevolent about it.

You should explain to your baby that well organized, transparent Unions work for the benefit of all society. If a Union negotiates better conditions, those conditions are also spread to the entirety of the workforce, regardless if the workers are Unionized or not.

His Unionized stuffed animals are likely to also be a source of class improvement for his Legos and G.I Joes (although the GI Joes are currently facing a serious crisis trying to repeal DADT) by virtue of inspiration in other social related struggles.

This could also be a good lesson for your baby in terms of how democracy works. Today, he finds himself in a position of power over a class of workers who do not own the means of production (I assume your baby is in charge of the toy’s chest, and as such, he is the controlling bourgeois class). In a well functioning democracy, protecting the interest of those who are at the bottom of the production pyramid might result in his own benefit, should he one day find that the wheel has turned and he is the one who needs these protections.

And last, but not least, your baby should read “Compassionate Capitalism for toddlers” by George Soros, which explains with comprehensive vignettes how to remain extremely wealthy while giving the impression that one cares deeply for the poor and dispossessed. 

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