(collection suggested by andothercuriosities)
Casual Red-cism: It’s that red that everyone just uses because it’s there and convenient, even though it’s really ugly and unflattering on everyone.
Victim Blaming Violet: A sheer purple that’s just asking for it.
This is Not a DemoCrimson: A deep red that can only be obtained after you declare that it’s the best color you’ve ever seen; no criticism allowed.
If You Don’t Like It, Leaf Green: A bright, grassy green that you can wear. Or not. We don’t care, because you don’t matter.
Creepy Doll-lia: A floral-inspired pretentious pink. Comes in full size with a matching mini-bottle.
Consent is Non-Exis-tan: A hideous murky beige. This color is made by another company that tests on animals, uses formaldehyde, and employs slave labor, but we’re just going to put it in our own packaging and let it represent us.
You Need a Copy Edi-turquoise: It’s royal blue. It was supposed to be turquoise, but it got through quality control somehow with this major glaring error, so, yeah, it’s royal blue.
(I did more than three, sorry. It’s a big collection, apparently. Just be careful. I hear it’s really easy to steal from people who use it, because after you buy it, the company just gives the thieves directions to your house and tells them where you keep it. And makes a copy of the key for them.)
This collection also includes the (in)famous Orient Express Foundation which comes in just one tone (yellow) because all Asian people look the same anyway. Its companion Squinty Eyes Mascara accents the uniform look of Asian eyes.
There is also another collection, aimed at LGBTQ consumers under the banner “the best faggot is a faggot that mosturizes”. These products are personally curated by political analyst and race relations expert Tracy Traciee Traicee Tracie Egan Morrisey. The base ingredient is cow shit.
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