Meet Grizzly Fetus! He’s a rising star in the American anti-choice scene, and the founder of the influential Fetus Party. All this, despite the fact that he doesn’t technically exist! Wow!
Grizzly Fetus’s goal is to come into existence toward the end of 2012, by arranging for a sperm and an egg to meet in some unspecified uterus. (Whose uterus? Who cares!? It’s all about Grizzly Fetus!) He will then run for President, in a brief but stirring campaign. (Grizzly Fetus will have to avoid debates and speeches, for example, because Grizzly Fetus does not know human language, and also, cannot talk.) Grizzly Fetus will probably run as a Republican, but also, he thinks he might as well run as a Democrat: All Grizzly Fetus cares about is the fact that both parties support the right of fetuses to determine policy. Which they both do! Lucky Grizzly Fetus!
Grizzly Fetus’s presidency will only last for nine months, because after that point, Grizzly Fetus will devolve into a human baby, and lose his magic policy-making powers. During his nine-month term, however, he will run a strong campaign to lower the voting age! Grizzly Fetus believes voting begins at conception.
Here is a campaign T-Shirt for Grizzly Fetus! (You can, fittingly enough, order it in red or blue. Or purple! Or pink!) Grizzly Fetus was drawn for this t-shirt by the lovely Chris, because Grizzly Fetus technically doesn’t exist yet, and also because he will be too small to be seen by anything other than a microscope for the earlier portions of his run. Ladies: Prepare your uteruses, and your votes, for Grizzly Fetus! Like everything else in this life, it’s best to start early! Perhaps you wish to create campaign posters, for Grizzly Fetus? Perhaps that is a possibility, for you, should Chris furnish us all with a post featuring Grizzly Fetus’s presidential portrait, as seen above!
Regrettably, Grizzly Fetus doesn’t know that I plan to donate some of the proceeds of his campaign t-shirt to an abortion fund. Poor Grizzly Fetus! But I am not sure which one I will donate to, at the moment. Let me know what your suggestions might be!
This. This is just. I cannot stop laughing.
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