I understand this is a thorny topic, but I often wonder if some women refuse to identify as feminists because of some problematic stances, mainly on matters of sexual politics and sex/ power dynamics.
As much as feminism is about choice, there are some feminists (one need only read the comments sections of Feministe or any of the other similar blogs) who equate choice with “the good choice” or “proper choice”, and the rest is judged as “not the feminist choice” or “the wrong choice”. I know, I know, too many words, but I’ll try to illustrate with an example: women who dress slutty. I’ve seen the criticism that somehow implies that dressing slutty is “bad” because it is geared towards attracting the male gaze and because it perpetuates a heteronormative stereotype of sexuality (the tramp sexually available for the guys) and it is a disservice to the advancement of women’s equality. As much as this is true, where do we draw the line in terms of “individual choice” vs living a life at the service of a movement that is not even homogeneous or holding an identical set of ideas/ values? What about knowingly “dressing slutty” (just to continue with the previous example) even though one might be aware of the socio political implications of doing so? How do we continue advocating for choice without trying to create a universal “choice” that is perceived as the proper one, the feminist thing to do?
Yes, some stuff is problematic, but I am unsure how the movement can continue advancing (where is the fourth wave by now?) unless we start taking individuals into consideration. The younger generation has been dubbed “The ME generation” and I believe individuality is key these days. Any collective that tries to advocate for one set of values as the “right” ones is going to fail in the face of individuals who refuse to be boxed and might feel they are forced to conform to something that does not represent their individuality. Hell, everything (from clothes to electronics) is nowadays sold on the basis of “customization” and personalization. How are we (older feminists) going to adapt the discourse or ideals so that they can be understood and embraced by the next generation?
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