Despondent, sad, a bit homesick and just generally down

The truth is, I don’t know what to do anymore. It seems the extreme right wing government, of which Geert Wilders is a member is about to be finalized. The talks so far have included the usual burqa bans, banning the Qur’an, passing legislation to stop all immigration from “Non Western" countries and even the possible ethnic registration of immigrants living here.

All of the above paired with some personal stuff (financial crisis/ not many customers/ etc.) has driven me very much over the edge. I am sad in ways I haven’t been in a long time. I worry about the future. Mine and my family’s. I hardly ever write personal pieces (as in, “this is what’s going on in my life”) because I don’t think it is all that important. But today… I just don’t know anymore. This voice inside telling me “why bother, who cares, just stop it”. And it ain’t nice. It’s stifling, it’s disheartening and it makes me feel lonely.

I just wish there was a place to go where I wouldn’t have to worry about all this. Personal experience has taught me that there isn’t such a place, though. And that this is all there is.


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