Our 19-year-old daughter is dating a 19-year-old boy, who, in general, we like. He’s not a partier; he doesn’t smoke or drink; he’s serious about his education; and he has a rational career plan mapped out. Our daughter is also a responsible, level-headed girl. The problem is that the boyfriend’s response to almost anything my daughter says is a cut or put-down, a dismissal of her accomplishment or mocking. She says his father does the same thing to him, his brother and their mother; so to him it’s “normal.” Our daughter is an upbeat confident person by nature, but I know a constant stream of negativity will eventually wear down even the most self-assured person. I have tried calling him out on this in a humorous way, to no effect. My husband is restraining himself from giving this kid a poke in the nose! Any suggestions are welcome!

Self appointed “America’s most widely read parenting expert” John Rosemond, sets to answer the question with unexpected wisdom: he tells the mother “your daughter needs her abuser” and she is the one who should change because he is a keeper. You read that right! Some of his “advice”:

He’s not into partying, playing video and online games, proving that he can drink more beer than his friends and still remain conscious, and dressing in oversized, ill-fitting clothes that make him look like a six-foot toddler. From your description, he’s a find! Do everything you can to keep him! So he has one annoying habit. OK. Can we all overlook this?

An annoying habit we should overlook? I just hope the mother who sent the query got some better advice elsewhere.


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