Yeah, skimming through both threads again, I pretty much feel the same as you.

Husband says something douchey. Gets called on it. Troops storm in, “But he’s dying, you meanie!” Argument “settled.”

Dying husband = the best derail ever, apparently. 

Derailing, yes. But even worse, it was manipulative. As if personal responsibility is suddenly erased. The pity party of excuses: but he is dying! But he didn’t mean exactly that! Yes, yes, he did. And he comes across as a judgmental, moralistic douche for it. All it would have taken to settle the argument was a quick apology and everyone would have moved on. Instead, drag the argument through multiple threads, including groupthink and the Saturday Night social to maximize the impact of the douche splatter. Hmmz, no, thanks.

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