What I want


So I went off this morning a bout HS here

because I keep saying , I don’t want to PUNISH HIM . I want to protect and build for US .

( Copyrighted by CC cause well I’m hopeful not new)

I want a better world.

for me specifically, me locationally, me intersectionally, me connectedly.

As a singular person, as resident of these communities I move through, as a member of the categories I inhabit,have lived, will live, may want to live, lived and never want to love again. As a friend, a child, a family member, as a loved one, as a lover of ones, as a citizen, as a bystander, as an audience. I want each moment , to be as good or better, I want it to feel good, and safe , like I’m in control.

After these past couple months, but culminating over these YEARS of blogging, I keep getting asked that and it’s always felt like a weapon?

“ What do you want?" 


What do you actual want instead of complaining you whining crying black, fat, do nothing not good enough attention seeking stupid hating ass hater?

Now I am being asked that question in love. 

And it requires pause.

I think all of us who do the work in a certain way do that .

” If things get better for ( insert my groups here). My personal wants will too and I’ll do good , so let me sublimate those and focus on the goal"

Most of my heroines did that , work tirelessly fiercely , develop strong careers , enduring reputations, godlike patience and incredible praise . Tinged with the sorrow of how often it was personally taxing or unstable, seemingly alone.

What I want from WAM/Seal Press/Blogging/ Femfuture/Hugo/femfuture retreat/ etc …

Read More

To everyone who’s been asking, here’s Blackamazon’s answer to the “what do you want?” question. Click through to read the rest.

For the past decade and a half I have been making all my content available for free (and never behind a paywall) as an ongoing practice of ephemeral publishing. This site is no exception. If you wish to help offset my labor costs, you can donate on Paypal or you can subscribe to Patreon where I will not be putting my posts behind a lock but you'd be helping me continue making this work available for everyone. Thank you.  Follow me on Twitter for new post updates.

Leave a Reply

Scroll to top